LET'S FOLLOW THE RULES

One should never have to search for second base!

It has come to the attention of the commissioner’s office that a CCSL rain makeup took place Thursday, June 14 between PMA and PTM at Edgeley 7 --  an unofficial, unsanctioned, unkempt baseball field.  Multiple issues have been noted, and separate 300-word narratives will be required for each:

1. The infield grass was 6 inches tall, which is 4.75 inches over CCSL height requirements according to rule 32f.  I don’t know how many times I have to remind you all that this is dangerous and unfounded!  And something that can be easily resolved with an official Edventure push mower ($79.99) and weedwacker ($65)!  Don’t forget to order these from the catalog before the next Lawn Sculpture Rallye takes place at Girard College July 14-16, 2012.

2. The bases and pitching rubber were not set up according to league rules with Edventure tape measures (2 for $30).  Rather, they were just tossed willy-nilly into the baseball field’s unkempt grass, creating what can only be described as a “potentially dangerous situation.”  When we don’t follow the rules and neglect to place second base 16 feet plus Pi past the circle that is the diameter of one CCSL infield rake ($20) centered on the pitching rubber, this can lead to a bruised ego, scraped knee, or worse. Remember, safety first!

I have been told via OnStar car phone that the “final tally” of this game was Art Museum 17, Please Touch 9.  Since this game has playoff implications, and the margin of victory was less than 10 runs, it is probable that the commissioner will follow rule 57c, which states the game will be discounted and a Do-Over requested.  Just think of the meaningless game you just played as an Edventure! More information will be posted shortly.

Please submit your 300-word narratives post haste.

PROPER 300-WORD NARRATIVE EXPLAINED

Gang, many of you have asked how to write a proper 300-word narrative in order to gain the attention of the league office.

Well, I know that for some of you writing is an Edventure, so I thought I'd pass along a recently received 300-word narrative that is a fine model for what all of you should be sending my way. Have a great day, a fine weekend and don't forget the Quarter Moon Garter & Stockings Rallye that begins beneath the I-95 overpass at 3 a.m. Saturday. See you there!

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To: Commissioner’s Office

RE: Rain Out  #451, Edgely 8

Teams (list separately):

 Institute, Franklin

Center, Olde City of the Daughter of Guadalupe Constitution

Time stamp: 1:52 EDT, June 12^th, 2012

300 Word Narrative

In accordance with bylaw 27d of the Center City Softball League, the aforementioned teams wish to submit a requisition for form 11b, movement of a league sanctioned game.  Both teams and their captains are in agreement with aforementioned change and desire the appropriate channels to begin the paperwork to convey this change to said teams’ personnel.  The reasons for desired movement are as described below.

Captain Muhler of the Institute, Franklin visited Edgely 8 at approximately 11:45 EDT on Tuesday the 12^th of June and noticed a large puddle covering much of the mound.  Upon measuring the puddle he noticed that it was 3 feet across at its largest and 6.8 cm deep in the center.  The texture of the surrounding mud was rather loose suggestive of continued precipitation on the playing field.  Captain Muhler was also able to notice that rain continued to fall on him as he measured the puddle due to the fact that he does not wear a hat yet is nearly bald.  This malady worked in his favor allowing him to observe the rain and measure the salinity of it as it rolled off of his cranium.  The salinity was 6.7% at sea level.  Captain Muhler was able to measure an additional 3 puddles in the next hour and list their dimensions here:  1.3’ by 13cm, 2’ by  20cm, 5’ by 13 cm.  Their condition was soggy at best.  Given the rain and the prevalence of threatening puddles, Captain Muhler submitted form 11z supplemental form q to Captain Krisch of the Center, OCDGC who cosigned as witnessed by the League notary in front of the League snack stand and creamery.  As per League rules, no softball was attempted and we submit this narrative as fulfillment of bylaw 27d.  Word count 296. Now four more words. -- Captain Muhler & Captain Krish

CRIME, PUNISHMENT AND CATALOG!

Hi, Kids. Hope everyone enjoyed our Hoagiefest Edventure. Those who took part will be receiving an invoice shortly to cover the cost of the hoagies, the table rental, fire marshal permits, napkins, Cleaniswab area disinfectant and Toxiwaste Holders, shipping and handling and a small donation to the Rallye Foundation.
It has come to the attention of the league, however, that there were some “activities” that took place after the Fairmount Sandwich Permit expired at 9 p.m., which is strictly forbidden by CCSL Postgame Edventure Rules. I don’t need to remind you – or perhaps I do – that we are guests of the City of Philadelphia when we make use of these fields and any unauthorized hijinks could lead to a loss of permits for the future.
Now, I know we’re all “good friends” here, but here’s what we need at the commissioner’s office and PDQ. I have received several incriminating photos such as the one above and am diligently attempting to identify those who took the fun a little too far. Please, send any photos you might have to EdCommish@Rallyefoundation.com and that will help the investigation.
Also, if you witnessed “activities” that were not in keeping with the rules, please write a 300-word narrative and slip it beneath the recycled charcoal strike mat at the next home game of the Catahoula Refugees (Tues., July 10, Edgeley 8 vs. Buddyforce). Narratives may exceed the 300-word limit in the case of four (4) or more violaters being named, but they may not be under the 300-word limit or they will be returned.
On to more enjoyable subjects: The new Center City Softball League Official Gear and Collectibles catalog is out and I think all will agree that the 2012 edition is even better than the best-selling 2011 version.
We have a number of categories this year and so, I’ll just start at the top and give you the highlights. Order quickly, because some items have “limited” quantities.
PERSONAL GEAR – Arm Guards ($17), Leather Tunic ($44), Large Padded Cushion ($22), Elmer Ogre Beer Cozy ($4), Rallye Cap ($16).


Leather Tunic, $44.
 Available in M, L, XL,
 XXL and Ogre.

 SAFETY AND HYGIENE – Cleaniswab Kit ($15), Toxiwaste Holder ($12), Edventure Toothbrush ($3).
FIELD EQUIPMENT – Shovel ($45), Recycled Charcoal Strike Mat ($34), Festive Bunting ($39), Orange Foul Cones/Party Hats ($12), Pitching Rubber/Dog Biscuit ($20).
MISCELLANEOUS EDVENTURE FUN-DUCERS – Full Moon Rallye Towels (pair only, $12), Edventure Booty Bag ($25).
HOAGIEFEST ACCESSORIES – Table ($32), Ron Goldwyn Spray (protect your hoagie! $10), Jeff Flynn Lightning-Resistant Tent ($64).
CCSL COLLECTIBLES – Pete Kellepourey Autographed Shovel ($90), Elmer Wiley Genuine Giraffe Femur Bat ($129), Phyllis Demo Workout Video ($24 DVD, $18 Laserdisk, $16 Betamax), Belmont 4 WaterSlide Edventure Slide ($68), Pittsburgh Benson Bobblehead ($32), Nick Ventrola Guide To Temple University Nightlife ($16 unsigned, $12 signed).
Well, that’s just a “taste” of what we have to offer in 2012. If you would like to receive the full catalog, drop me an email at EdForLife@RallyeFoundation.com or place your request in a standard No. 10 business envelope and place it beneath the recycled charcoal strike mat at the next Catahoula Refugees home game (Tues., July 10, Edgeley 8 vs. Forcebuddy).
Include a 300-word narrative – single spaced is always preferable – on why you believe you “deserve” to receive a catalog and include a detailed list of your past purchases. Items can be shipped one of three ways: ground, express and EdVentureCare Delivery.
Standard ground shipping takes 16-18 weeks and cannot be guaranteed to arrive within that time frame. Express shipping takes 8-10 weeks for those who live within the city limits of Philadelphia, slightly longer to the suburbs and Pittsburgh.
EdVentureCare Delivery is guaranteed to arrive the next day. I will drive to your home with your purchases and bring them to your door. EdVentureCare Delivery – which includes a “free” Rallye Towel gift (although there is a small shipping and handling fee for the towel) – is only $12.95 per item for the first five items and $9.95 for each additional item. So, order big and save big!
OK for now, folks. Get going on those catalog requests, and don’t forget to send me your 300-word narratives regarding what happed post-Hoagiefest. Let’s identify the guilty, send them on their way and get back to playing softball and having a wonderful Edventure!